Just sharing Casting Crowns- "Just Be Held" 


Hold it all together
Everybody needs you strong
But life hits you out of nowhere
And barely leaves you holding on

And when you're tired of fighting
Chained by your control
There's freedom in surrender
Lay it down and let it go

So when you're on your knees and answers seem so far away
You're not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your world's not falling apart, it's falling into place
I'm on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
Just be held, just be held

If your eyes are on the storm
You'll wonder if I love you still
But if your eyes are on the cross
You'll know I always have and I always will

And not a tear is wasted
In time, you'll understand
I'm painting beauty with the ashes
Your life is in My hands

Lift your hands, lift your eyes
In the storm is where you'll find Me
And where you are, I'll hold your heart
I'll hold your heart
Come to Me, find your rest
In the arms of the God who won't let go

You can't move forward, if you keep looking back!

"You can't move forward, if you keep looking back!" These were the words that The Lord spoke into my heart the other day. I stopped complaining the moment He said that, long enough to realize what he meant. You see recently I was deeply hurt by something that was done to me. It felt like a personal assault against my character, a betrayal of sorts. If I sit here and tell you what it was it might seem petty because well in a way it was, but it hurt me. And as I prayed to The Lord and I asked him why I reacted the way I did. Why it hurt so much, why me. He said, " you can't move forward if you keep looking back."

Honestly at first, I was confused, what do you mean Lord? And then I realized I've put the Lord's plans at a standstill because I've been waiting on my past to move into the future with me. What I mean by that is this, many times in our lives The Lord allows things to happen in our lives to test us and to prepare us. He sifts us from our comfort zone and puts us in these perdictaments to keep us on our knees and dependent on Him.

A little over a year ago The Lord told my husband and I that it was time to move to another congregation. This was a hard thing for me. You see I always knew that leaving our church was something that would happen, but many years ago when we wanted to leave The Lord would say no. And we were very obedient to Him in regards to this. For months before we left we felt The Lord tugging at our heart that it was time, and we were very slow to leave.

In our understanding it wasn't the right time, we were about to buy a house closer to our church, we were going through a really tough trial in our marriage, we just couldn't understand why now, but we finally made the step and approached our then Pastor. And it was hard and it was painful. But more than anything throughout this entire time, my heart was tied to these people and my mind would drift
to "the good times" and it would stop me from fully experiencing what The Lord wanted me experience now within my new congregation.

You see we often forget that we serve God, it's not the other way around. The world revolves around Him and what his will is. I realized that I was so stuck in my sisters and brothers, how they were doing. How much I missed them, that I neglected to say God use me to glorify you wherever you send me.

In no way am I saying you should stop loving or praying for those you've left behind. But don't let the past dictate your future. Don't let it derail the plans The Lord has in place for you.

Regardless of where we are in our lives The Lord will use every situation for His glory. In your brokeness He will glorify Himself. In your sickness, in your divorce, in your abandonment He will heal, transform, and exalt Himself.

I realized in my pain that I needed that! I needed that sift in attitude and perspective to
recognize that I need to keep my eyes on Jesus instead of looking back. I needed to see that The Lord wanted me to move forward, to keep going, to experience my new family in Christ, something that I can say I was doing slowly. I was leaning on my past.

Don't look at your circumstances and question, judge, or mistreat. Instead say Lord I'm not sure why, but I trust in your process. I trust that you will order my steps, I trust that you will prosper me and that you have plans in place for me.

"For I know the plans I have for you," says The Lord. " They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." -Jeremiah 29:11

I pray beloved that as you embark on your journey with The Lord regardless if it's a long awaited experience like marriage, a new baby, or circumstantial like grief, pain, despair, that you take a leap of faith and you keep your eyes on the Almighty, All- knowing, All- powerful God!

Blessings,

A Decade!!!

Today is a very special and important day for me. My daughter Kayli turns 10 today!!! It's a huge birthday and I am so excited to share this special day with her. She is growing up to be such a lovely girl, I not only love her, but I really like her. She's definitely polar opposites with me at times but I enjoy her perspective on life.

This day is not only a special day for Kayli, but it marks a decade of me being a mom. It's so crazy how fast life is at times, and I just sat back today and took a good look at who Michelle was 10 years ago, and we are two different people yet I can reminisce with a smile on my face. Ten years ago, I had just finished college. I found out the summer of 2003 that I was expecting. She was a surprise and I was terrified!

I thought my life was just beginning, I had just turned 21! I was preparing to apply for grad school, my husband had just proposed a month before and we were definitely not ready.

But God does things. Things we don't expect. And though I know there are many naysayers that may believe that God doesn't work in the life of the unrighteous, or non believers, He knows what He does, and he extends his mercy to us all.

I took 21 credit hours, and worked 2 jobs, my last semester in school. I applied for medicaid and food stamps, I cried and stressed over every little detail. I moved in with my parents something I vowed to not do after I moved out of their house. I humbled myself many times over, in preparation for my child. And on April 1, 2004 @ 3:43pm when my daughter was born it was all worth it. Because away went all my fears, away went all insecurities of what kind of mother I would be. And I knew that I needed God. I knew that only He would show me how to be the kind of mother that I needed to be.

What can I say? am I a perfect mother? No way, I make mistakes and I fail, and fall, and cry, and I still am fearful of so many things, particularly what the future has in store for my children and my family.

But then I look back and all I see is thankfulness. I'm thankful to God and his goodness, mercy and unfailing love. I'm thankful for my husband that has always stood by me even when he didn't want to. I'm thankful for my children that love me and support me even though I'm not perfect, they know I am their mom and I never give up. I'm thankful that even before I became a mom I learned to make something out of whatever you have, to not let fear hold you back, that usually what scares you is what makes you stronger if you keep pressing on, that being humble is not a weakness it's actually you're strongest trait.

Most importantly being a mom for the past ten years has taught me that I've only just begun. Being a mom is not about just feeding your children food and putting them to bed at night. It has everything to do with raising them to give their 100% at all times, even when it's not enough. Loving them through the good but especially through the bad. Disciplining them with love, even when it hurts you. Teaching them the blessings of God, and life, but letting them know that they will be letdown and disappointed in life as well.  That people will turn their backs on you but God never will.

Teaching them that God is sovereign and mighty, but that walking in obedience with the Lord can at times be very difficult, but very rewarding. That even when we don't understand God's logic because it goes against what the world teaches, it's worth doing things his way, He's always right!

Today is my mother's day, it's my new year. It's the day God taught me to take the focus off of me. It's the day I learned that God knows best. It's the day He taught me that he will order my steps, and guide me. I was right about one thing 10 years ago, my life had only just begun!

The journey isn't over it's only just begun.....



Stay blessed,