This day is not only a special day for Kayli, but it marks a decade of me being a mom. It's so crazy how fast life is at times, and I just sat back today and took a good look at who Michelle was 10 years ago, and we are two different people yet I can reminisce with a smile on my face. Ten years ago, I had just finished college. I found out the summer of 2003 that I was expecting. She was a surprise and I was terrified!
I thought my life was just beginning, I had just turned 21! I was preparing to apply for grad school, my husband had just proposed a month before and we were definitely not ready.
But God does things. Things we don't expect. And though I know there are many naysayers that may believe that God doesn't work in the life of the unrighteous, or non believers, He knows what He does, and he extends his mercy to us all.
I took 21 credit hours, and worked 2 jobs, my last semester in school. I applied for medicaid and food stamps, I cried and stressed over every little detail. I moved in with my parents something I vowed to not do after I moved out of their house. I humbled myself many times over, in preparation for my child. And on April 1, 2004 @ 3:43pm when my daughter was born it was all worth it. Because away went all my fears, away went all insecurities of what kind of mother I would be. And I knew that I needed God. I knew that only He would show me how to be the kind of mother that I needed to be.
What can I say? am I a perfect mother? No way, I make mistakes and I fail, and fall, and cry, and I still am fearful of so many things, particularly what the future has in store for my children and my family.
But then I look back and all I see is thankfulness. I'm thankful to God and his goodness, mercy and unfailing love. I'm thankful for my husband that has always stood by me even when he didn't want to. I'm thankful for my children that love me and support me even though I'm not perfect, they know I am their mom and I never give up. I'm thankful that even before I became a mom I learned to make something out of whatever you have, to not let fear hold you back, that usually what scares you is what makes you stronger if you keep pressing on, that being humble is not a weakness it's actually you're strongest trait.
Most importantly being a mom for the past ten years has taught me that I've only just begun. Being a mom is not about just feeding your children food and putting them to bed at night. It has everything to do with raising them to give their 100% at all times, even when it's not enough. Loving them through the good but especially through the bad. Disciplining them with love, even when it hurts you. Teaching them the blessings of God, and life, but letting them know that they will be letdown and disappointed in life as well. That people will turn their backs on you but God never will.
Teaching them that God is sovereign and mighty, but that walking in obedience with the Lord can at times be very difficult, but very rewarding. That even when we don't understand God's logic because it goes against what the world teaches, it's worth doing things his way, He's always right!
Today is my mother's day, it's my new year. It's the day God taught me to take the focus off of me. It's the day I learned that God knows best. It's the day He taught me that he will order my steps, and guide me. I was right about one thing 10 years ago, my life had only just begun!
The journey isn't over it's only just begun.....
Stay blessed,
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Hello and thanks for stopping by Michelle Unleashed. I hope that by visiting this little spot in cyberspace, you'll have found yourself refreshed in the Lord and unleashed.
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